Desires Revealed
by PinkRae
Summary: Dick gets hit with some weird magic and his deepest desires make themselves known, and they turn out to be very dark and violent. But when Raven comes to save him from this magic, something else happens...
1. Chapter 1

"Richard." A voice echoed through the dark room, but it wasn't what made him look up. It was the bright light that suddenly blinded him.

"Ugh…" The man grunted in displeasure as he tried to focus his vision on the figure standing right in front of him. "...Raven? Wh- What are you doing here?"

"Kori contacted me." She spoke softly, approaching him carefully. Though this movement had seemingly put him on edge and he instantly moved further away from her, sliding across the couch.

"D-don't come closer…! Please. It's not… safe." He pleaded, his vision still a bit blurry. Upon closer inspection, Raven noticed the redness in his eyes and his heavy breathing. Something was definitely off. Which was why she was here in the first place.

"Richard, you're not well. You've come in contact with strong magic. And it has… done something to you. Something dark." She explained slowly, still continuing her careful approach. "I need to understand what's happened. And for that, I _need_ to get closer to you."

"Can't you do it without doing that?" Dick asked, almost desperately, only proving that it really did have something to do with being around other people that affected him so badly. That's why he had locked himself up here. Not contacting anyone. It felt like it was safer that way. Because his mind wasn't working properly. And he'd never forgive himself if he ever did something to hurt Raven.

"I'm afraid not…" She said truthfully and took a seat on the other side of the couch, putting on a reassuring smile. "But don't worry, I'll be quick."

"You don't understand…" His sky blue eyes finally looked directly at her with utmost seriousness. He released a deep breath and a wave of deep, very strong emotions washed over him. And she finally _felt it_. It made her breath get stuck in her throat, that's how powerful it was. But it was different from a few seconds ago. It wasn't violent like with any other encounter Dick had had in these past few days. It was something much deeper, much better concealed inside of his body, which was now breaking loose.

"I think I do…" Letting out a shaky sigh, she took a moment to compose herself. "But like I said, I'll be quick, I promise." And with another smile, she moved closer to the male in an instant and put her hand on his chest to feel what kind of magic was planted inside of him.

"Mm, yes, it is very strong. It has reached deep down into your core. Definitely explains your unusual behavior and urges." Her eyes closed, she told him while trying to shift the magic bond so that she could get it out of his system. But she was forced to stop when she felt Dick's hand over her own. Opening her eyes, she was met by his longing expression.

"Rich-"

"Raven." He whispered under his breath merely a split second before his lips pressed against hers. In an instant reaction, she pulled away.

"What are you doing?"

"I told you not to come close…" His eyes opened only for a moment before they closed again as he reached for her lips once more. This time his movements were more confident, more firm and with so much passion that Raven got overwhelmed.

He leaned forward, moving his hand up to hold the back of her neck and wrapping the other arm around her waist to move her to a lying position while he stayed looming over her. There was such a desire emitting from him, it washed over Raven as well and she couldn't control it anymore, although she tried. His lips pressed hard against hers, depriving them both of air.

"Richard…" She gasped in between of kisses. "You don't want to do this."

"Yes, I do." He argued. "I want it so bad." His soft lips traced along her jawline as his hand slid down from her waist down to her hip and along her thigh, sending a sweet tingling sensation throughout the entirety of her body. Her hands gripped onto his shirt as if grasping for some sense of reality, to feel that this was actually happening. She couldn't help but to feel excited, yet terrified.

"B-but… It's not me who you want." She still protested even though her body seemed to had given up. A hand ran up his back, entangling her fingers in his black hair as he made a trail of kisses down to her neck, while his hand tracked the fabric of her white dress, pushing it up more and more with each movement.

"It's always been you who I wanted, Raven." He glanced into her deep blue eyes for just a moment before reuniting their lips once more, nibbling on her lower lip as their bodies slowly merged together.

"What about Kori?" Another gasp. Raven tried to think clearly. She had to. And holding onto the existence of her best friend helped her get a grip on what was real.

"Who's Kori?" Now this question angered her. It made her realize that it was the magic doing this, not Dick. These weren't his words, his thoughts or his desires. It was a cruel trick to mess up his entire being and make it all upside down.

"That's enough." Finally, placing her hands on his shoulders, she pushed him off and slipped out of underneath him, standing up to catch her breath.

"Kori is still my best friend. I love her and you love each other! And I'm not going to let this ruin it all." She pointed at him before fixing her dress and her hair, while doing her best to compose herself emotionally. Having all these strong feelings planted inside of her wasn't good.

"Raven…" Dick's hazy look turned into a bit of a sad scowl before he stood up and approached her, his hands reaching for her waist once more. "Why don't you want to believe me?" Their eyes met and he looked into her soul with an expression that could almost be sincere if Raven didn't know there was magic behind it. Still, her heart stopped for a moment. But she had to face the fact that none of it was real.

"Because it was never the _truth_." Her eyes nearly teared up after these words and she _hated_ it. The words almost got stuck in her throat, she could barely force herself to get them over her lips. Being so emotional wasn't a good sign for her. Or for anybody around her. She had to compose herself and get that magic out of him. Before they did anything they'd both regret later on.

"It is the truth now." His gentle voice whispered in her ear before he kissed her again. And she couldn't resist anymore, it was too much for her to handle. All these emotions, these feelings. They invaded her soul and her heart. He embraced her tight in his arms and her body naturally pressed against his, arms wrapping around his neck, their tongues entangled in a fiery kiss filled with desire that had previously been hidden beneath a dozen of layers.

And she caught herself actually _wanting_ for this to be true. She wanted there to be nothing and no one else besides the two of them. For them to have this moment that they never got to share with each other in the past. But they couldn't right now either… She had to stop this.

 _I'm sorry, Richard._

Fighting against every instinct she had right now, her hands reached down to his chest and pressed against it, her magic reaching into that in Dick's body. And a moment later, with a swift hand movement she pulled it all out, which made him yelp out in pain.

"Just like a band aid." She commented under her breath, but kept an eye on Dick who had stepped back and was now rubbing his chest, hissing in pain. His gaze was averted and his emotions were going all over the place, so she couldn't quite place the right one. Heck, she couldn't even place the right one of her own emotions, that's how big of a mess she was right now.

"Richard…?" After a moment of silence, she asked cautiously and finally got his attention again.

"Raven…" He almost seemed surprised to see her.

"How are you f-" But she didn't get to finish her question because he suddenly walked right back to her, cupped her head in his hands and placed the sweetest of kisses on her lips.

 _This wasn't supposed to happen! The magic is gone!_

When he pulled back, they both stared at each other in shock. Even he was shocked at himself. But at the same time- he wasn't, not really.

"Raven, I-... It has _always_ been the truth…"


	2. Chapter 2

"Raven, I-... It has always been the truth…" His voice was barely above a whisper, as he tried to put his thoughts into words. He ran his thumbs gently against her cheeks in small circles, his eyes looking deeply into hers as if trying to convince her of his sincerity.

But she didn't believe him. How could she? It was probably _her_ who was affecting him now! All these emotions were overflowing her entire being and clearly impacted him while he was still in this vulnerable state.

"Richard," she sighed and placed her hands over his, slowly removing them from her face, "you need to get some rest. It's been a rough couple of days for you. You should gather your thoughts. And so should I." Her voice was calm as always, though she couldn't help but to avoid direct eye contact with him.

"No no no no, Raven, please, trust me." Raven felt another surge of strong feelings from him as he desperately tried to hold onto her hands and get her to look at him. "Stay, please… I need you to stay with me." He whispered to her and pressed his forehead against her head, but it only pained her to see him like this.

"Rest, Richard." Giving him a weak smile, the girl was wrapped in dark smoke and in just a blink of an eye, she was gone. And Dick was left standing there with the biggest hole in his chest. Like he had just been broken up with.

He stared at the wall for the longest time, unable to move a muscle. What had that magic done to him? It had tapped into the deepest parts of his heart and dug out the very thing he had suppressed for all these years.

 _Your deepest desires shall be revealed._

That's how it went before the world around him turned upside down. During the past few days he yelled at Kori, almost got into a fight with Tim and had this incredible urge to just punch someone's teeth out. Everything was just wrong. It turned out that his deepest desires were all so… dark. He was panicking, so he just locked himself up in his apartment. Until Raven showed up and it went from dark to arousing. If it had been _anyone else_ , it probably would've been fine. But no, it had to be her. Sure, it made sense, it was a magic related issue. And still. A part of him wished she hadn't come. It wasn't like there weren't other magic users around. Like Zatanna, for example.

"What do I do now…?" He let out a heavy breath and finally forced his body to move over to sit back down on the couch. His heart was still racing and he could still feel the taste of her lips, her fragile form underneath his own, her fingers against his skin. It was surreal. For all this time, all these years he'd forced back any sort of feelings he ever had for her and now that door was ripped open and it was flooding out like a tidal wave.

 _Kori is still my best friend. I love her and you love each other!_

Raven's words echoed in his mind. Sure, they loved each other still. But the passion was long gone. It'd been gone ever since that ruined wedding. After the whole mess that was Trigon's possession of Raven, Kori had never been the same anymore. Nor had he. And then her joining the Outlaws, him going his own way. They simply grew distant, even if still keeping in touch whenever they could. He loved her, but it was nothing like what he felt for Raven.

That kiss so many years ago… Even if influenced by her empathetic abilities, it still felt real. And it lingered for the longest of time. He had to push it back somewhere deep because at that time he truly did love Kori and the two of them did their best to maintain a steady relationship. But Raven never really left. She was so different. She was extraordinary. An experience he'd never had before _or_ after that.

But not only did he try to work things out with Kori at the time, Raven had her own life as well. And one mess after the other, Gar came into her life. Even though Kori was no longer _really_ in his life, he never dared to stand in his friend's way. So it stayed like that. He pushed those feelings back even further and continued to go about his life until they grew apart as well. She got herself a day job and entered some sort of a normality in her life, while at the same time she still stayed to help Vic and the others out to train and teach the new Teen Titans that came along over the years. And he, well… He was here in Bludhaven, going on his solo career as a police officer by day and Nightwing by night, which by itself had already become a routine in his life. Not much excitement, apart from the occasional ass-beating. And then came all _this_.

So now he was left all shattered and confused as to what to do next. He had no idea. The only thing he did know was that he wanted her in his life. He wanted to be with her. He wanted _her_. But that didn't seem like an option because she didn't want the same thing. Or, at least, that's what he was trying to tell himself judging by her words, despite how her body language had spoken differently. Or was that just his imagination? It was torturing him! He needed to talk to someone about this. To get an advice. And there was only one person who would understand him better than anyone in this situation.

Dick fished his phone out of the pocket of his jeans and dialed a number. There was barely one full beep before it already got picked up. Pretty much expected.

"Hey, Dick, my man! What's up?" The voice on the other side of the line greeted him with the usual cheerfulness. Too bad he couldn't respond with the same.

"Hey, um… Listen, I… I wanted to ask you something… But… Now I realize it's kinda stupid…" He chuckled to himself. Hearing his stuttering, his friend's tone changed almost instantly.

"Dude, is everything alright?"

"I… I honestly don't know…"

"Do you need help? Where are you? Are you home?"

"Yeah, I'm-" he didn't even get to finish his sentence before a wind rushed through the room and a figure was standing right next to him. "-home." His head turned to look at the redhead and he slowly lowered his phone.

"Sup, man?" Wally asked and sat down next to his friend. "You're paler than a ghost. Less transparent though." As always, he tried to keep the tone light, but Dick wasn't having any of it at the moment.

"Yeah, I wish I was, though. Would be easier to just disappear and get away from everything." The black-haired male sighed and leaned forward, putting his arms on his legs for support.

"Whoa, okay, that was _super_ depressive." Now Wally was getting a bit more concerned. "Seriously, what's wrong?" Another sigh left Dick's lips. He didn't even know where to begin. Burying his face in his hands, he sat there in silence for a few moments, while Wally waited as patiently as a speedster possibly could. Then, sliding his hands down his face, he finally spoke up, his gaze focused on the coffee table in front of him.

"Did you ever-... When someone tampers with your feelings… do they ever leave?"

And now it was Wally's turn to be silent. He stared at the other and it slowly dawned on him how serious the matter was. His carefree, light attitude changed in a matter of seconds and he let out a sigh, shifting in his seat mimicking Dick's pose.

"Not really, no." His brows furrowed in a small frown. "It… lingers for the longest time. Even when I thought it had faded, the moment I saw her with another guy just made my blood boil."

"What about now? Feeling like punching me in the face?" At that, Wally chuckled, but kept his serious visage.

"No, it's not like that anymore. It's more… like a distant memory than actual feelings. Even though sometimes I still miss her. Or rather, miss having those kinds of feelings."

"So how do you live with that?"

"I don't know." He said truthfully with a shrug. "You just kinda do. You move on. Try not to think about it too much. Replace those feelings with something- _someone_ else."

"Yeah, see, I've done all that already. And it was working for a long time. But now… Now it all got ripped open again and I'm overwhelmed."

"Ripped open? How?"

"Magic."

"Mag- _Hers…_?" The redhead frowned a little, feeling angry at the thought. Although he had found the strength to forgive her for what she had done to him so many years ago, the thought of her manipulating Dick with that bullshit really angered him.

"No, no." Dick was quick to reassure his friend. "Some creep who basically wanted me to turn against everything I stand for. Turns out I have some pretty violent urges buried deep inside me." A self-deprecating chuckle escaped his lips. "But then _she_ walked into the room and it all did a 180 degree turn. At first I was afraid I'd hurt her, but then… She was all I had on my mind."

"Wow. That's… some deep shit, man."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Another chuckle. Then a moment of silence followed before Wally broke it again. "So, what now?" A shrug was the only response he got.

"You gotta tell her, Dick."

"Tell her what?"

"That you still love her!"

"What's the point? She'll think it's the magic still affecting me. Or worse, that _she_ is still affecting me. She didn't believe me now, I don't think she'll believe me ever. And frankly," he sighed, "I'm not sure I believe myself either."

"Dude, come on! You're probably still shaken up by that magic crap. But you _know_ you've loved her since forever. Besides, what I've learned from _years_ of experience with magic-" Somehow this statement earned a look of disbelief from Dick. "-is that it doesn't work on what you don't already have inside you."

It was hard to admit, but Wally actually had a point there. If the anger and violence was there, magic only enhanced it. Same with love. After all, it _was_ supposed to affect his deepest desires. So it awakened a whole bunch of them. His love for Raven just happened to be the strongest one because he actually couldn't stop himself from acting on it.

"Maybe you're right." He finally voiced his thoughts out loud.

"Of course I am!" Wally laughed and patted the other on the back.

"The only question now is how to convince her of the same thing."


	3. Chapter 3

A whole week after the… incident was troublesome. No matter what she did, Raven just couldn't get the image of Dick out of her mind. Not to mention the sensations of his soft lips and tender touches. And what he said right before they parted.

 _It has always been the truth._

How could he say something like that? It never was and never will be. That kiss… back then when she first learned of all the emotions she could feel and express, she convinced not only herself, but also him that they loved each other. But at the end of the day it was all a lie and she swore to always keep her emotions in check even if Trigon was no longer a threat. And after that… Things went back to normal. He kept his relationship with Kori and she went on about her own life, until she was ready to accept love again, which happened all thanks to Gar.

Sure, things had changed since then. But she knew that Kori still loved him. The way she always brought him up in conversations showed she cared. Didn't need to be an empath to know that. It was different with her and Gar, though. Over time, the relationship became strained, mostly to her own fault. She never blamed him for anything, not even when he decided it was time for him to go.

She would've hated herself if she'd forced him to stay, even though they both knew she could. That's when she started thinking that maybe love wasn't really for her. If expressing her own feelings meant the possibility of creating fake ones for her significant other, then it was better if she spent the rest of her days in solitude.

But even so, she wasn't unhappy. Raven still had her friends, she had the Teen Titans, old and new, her job. Everything in her life was alright. Until… _that_ evening. She started doubting everything she knew, everything she felt, everything Dick had ever said to her. It was tormenting. So much so that she was losing sleep at nights.

When things didn't seem to get better after an entire week had already passed, she took a few days off from work and left New York to get some space and fresh air. Vic was kind enough to help her find a nice small cottage by a lake not too far from the city, which was exact amount of peace and quiet she needed.

And it really did help her collect her thoughts and her feelings. It had been a long time since she last devoted herself to meditation like she did in these past few days. Somehow it reminded her of her childhood, her time on Azarath, her mother. All sorts of memories came flooding back to her that gave her tranquility and control over her own self.

Upon returning she felt like her old self again - calm and collected. However, when she got up to her apartment door, she did not expect to see Dick sitting there on top of the stairs.

"Richard." She spoke in obvious surprise and put down the small suitcase she'd been carrying to get the key to her apartment. "I didn't expect to see you there."

* * *

Despite Wally's suggestion to pursuit the love of his life and his sincere will to do so, Dick still found himself being hesitant. Not because he didn't believe what he felt was right. Or real. But because he didn't think it was the right _time_ for it all. Even he had to admit that the whole situation was pretty messed up. And that Raven probably wasn't having a much easier time herself right now. So he didn't want to just pop at her window one night to proclaim his undying love to her- Although that did sound quite endearing.

 _No_.

Raven would _definitely_ not appreciate that. But what was worse, he had absolutely no idea of what she _would_ appreciate. Should he give her a surprise visit at job? Send her flowers? Leave love notes at her apartment door? Those kinds of things were all too cheesy and certainly not… Raven-like. And suddenly he realized that during all this time spent apart, he'd lost the bond they once shared and he felt like he didn't know her at all anymore. So he figured he'd need some help.

And he hated that. Richard Grayson, asking for love advice. It was something unheard of. He'd never been one to chase after girls. He never had to. In fact, for the longest time, relationships were something that he was consciously avoiding because it never brought anything good in his line of work, as it had proved time and time again with various people he'd had in his life.

But now, here he was. Sitting by this small round table in the bright light that the sun provided, fidgeting like a little school boy before a big date. The only difference being that this wasn't a date. It was-

"Hello, Dick."

-a _consultation_.

Raising his gaze up from his ever twitching fingers, Dick was met with a warm smile and two bright green eyes that were hiding a bit of a concern underneath the happiness of seeing a close friend. And in an instant, his spirits were lifted. His lips curled into a small that matched hers and his body lifted, both figuratively and literally, as he got up from his seat to give the female a big hug.

"Kori!" He laughed out, almost in relief that she actually decided to show up. Well, he'd lie if he said that the thought of her ignoring his request to meet up hadn't crossed his mind. Quickly pulling out a chair for her to sit down, he went back in his own seat and immediately started rambling. "Thank you so much for coming. How are you? You look good. New hairstyle? I like it?"

"Dick.." The Tamaranean chuckled in an attempt to make him stop talking. "I appreciate the compliments. But I don't think you called me here to talk about my hair." She gave him a knowing look and received a sigh in response. "So what's the emergency?"

"Well-" Honestly, he didn't even know where to start. Putting his hands on the table, he intertwined his fingers and played with his thumbs, while Kori waited patiently. She hadn't seen him like this in a while and it really did start to worry her. But then he finally took a deep breath and gathered his courage.

"Well, the truth is, Kori, I-... I'm in love." An almost incredulous laugh left his lips, his shoulder lifting a little along with it. Kori was left visibly surprised. But not because he just announced that he was in love. It was because he'd felt the _need_ to announce that. This was very uncharacteristic of him indeed.

For a split second, a question rushed through her mind. Was it her? Was he confessing his love to her? He couldn't be. They'd been over this already. And they both had come to terms with that. So it couldn't be her. The question at hand then quickly changed to:

"So, who's the poor girl?" She teased him lightheartedly, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. But the young man in front of her couldn't really respond with the same tone, giving her a "not funny" look. In regards to her question, though, he hesitated for a few moments. A part of him wanted to work around it somehow and not reveal it right away, but he understood that it'd be easier to just get it over with.

"Raven." He finally declared with utmost seriousness. Initially, Kori's first reaction was to ask him if he was talking about the Raven she thought he was talking about, but realized that it couldn't have been anyone else. So she stayed quiet, slowly letting that information sink in. It almost _terrified_ Dick, since he didn't know what was going through her mind and how she'd react to that.

"Well, umm… Dick, are you-... Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." His response was instant and with the same seriousness as before. Of course, she wouldn't buy it at first. Knowing - or rather, _not_ knowing their history, who would?

Raven and Dick never seemed like a "couple material". They were friends, sure, but no one ever saw anything more to it. Only a very selected few knew the bond they shared. It was something that wasn't visible on the outside. It had always been something deeper, a much tighter connection that always pulled them to each other, despite them always remaining just friends.

Their close friendship was the one that had pulled Raven to him all those years ago. That made her feelings arise and expand, reaching his own as well. This bond symbolized everything they could've had and everything they could've been, had life not gotten in the way of things. And so no one knew. No one could even imagine. But Kori was there all the way through, always. That's why he knew she'd understand. She would, right?

A sigh coming from her lips wasn't very promising, though. Her eyes wandered off somewhere in the distance as she gathered her thoughts for a moment. A part of her wanted to question how this had happened so suddenly. He hadn't exactly spent time with Raven in the past few years. Only casual mentions here and there. Same for Raven. She never said anything out of the ordinary. So it just seemed so out of the blue.

Still, another part of her knew, she supposed. She knew that it would happen someday. It had always been there, after all. And so, she felt conflicted. On one hand, she was happy for him, but on the other, she had doubts. Seeing this, Dick immediately continued talking, getting her attention back to him. He told her everything that happened, not leaving out a single detail. If he really wanted her to help him, she needed to know it all from start to finish.

"And so here I am." He finally finished with yet another sigh, reaching his hands to place over hers. "And I really need your help. I don't know what to do. I mean- I _know_ what to do, I just- I don't know if I should- So please, help me." His entire upper body then leaned over the table, his forehead resting against the surface that had warmed up in the hot sun.

"You're impatient." Kori observed in a very unnaturally calm nature. "Are you afraid she'll slip away if you don't do anything now?"

"Of course she will!" His head snapped back up, looking right at her. "Just like she'd been slipping away from me all these years! If I don't do something now, I may not have another chance."

"Does she agree with that?"

"What?"

"Does she agree with that?" Kori smiled and repeated her question while Dick stared at her completely dumbfounded. "Does she also think that this - this moment right here - is the last chance the two of you have?"

"What- Kori, I don't know, I- I haven't spoken to her…"

"Well, then go do that."

"And what am I supposed to say?!" He sat up straight again and gestured with his hands in despair.

"That you'll give her time." This simple sentence silenced him up completely and he actually stopped to think for a moment. "You know Raven, don't you? Then you should know this about her. That she's not the one to jump head first into things like you do. Time is all she needs for proof that you're serious about this."

Her words made so much sense, it felt like a whole new world opened up before him. Why hadn't he thought about this sooner? He was so consumed with what _he_ wanted or needed to do that he didn't even stop to think about what _she_ needed for this to work.

 _Step one to a bad relationship_.

No. Kori was right. He needed to be better than this. He needed to actually stop and think, not just about the overall picture, but about everything and everyone _in_ that picture. Time. That's exactly what he needed to do.

"Oh my god, Kori, you're amazing." His entire being seemed to be gleaming with joy and love right now. He now knew what he needed to do, so he jumped out of his seat and leaned down to kiss the top of Kori's head. "Thank you! You're the best!"

"I know." The young woman giggled and watched him run off as happy as a child running after the ice cream man. A content sigh left her lips as she kept staring into the distance long after Dick was out of sight. "It was about time, huh…"


	4. Chapter 4

" _Richard." She spoke in obvious surprise and put down the small suitcase she'd been carrying to get the key to her apartment. "I didn't expect to see you there."_

He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting here. The time seemed to be moving ten times slower than it should. But he wanted to meet her when she got home. From what Vic had told him, she'd taken off to someplace quiet and he didn't blame her. Nor did he want to invade her privacy and ruin her chance of getting herself together. Out of the two of them, at least she needed to be the clear-minded one, otherwise it would just turn out into another mess and that was the last thing he wanted. And the proof that he was still a mess was his heart's faltering as soon as he'd heard her voice. The man instantly got up onto his feet and straightened his shirt as he watched her go to unlock the door.

"I uh… Yeah, sorry. I didn't want to disturb you on your day off." He said sincerely, receiving a grateful smile from her.

"How are you feeling?" Caring as always. Dick couldn't help but smile at that. Opening the door, Raven stepped aside and beckoned for him to go inside before reaching for her suitcase.

"Ah, lemme get that." He quickly offered and grabbed it before walking into the small space she called her apartment.

"Thank you." She smiled and let him walk in before closing the door behind them. "You can just leave it here on the ground."

"And well, I've been… better, I suppose." Rubbing the back of his neck, he put the suitcase down by the coat rack. He tried to act calm, but he was a nervous wreck on the inside and he _knew_ Raven knew that. Which made it all just that much harder on him.

"I can see." There was the confirmation. And he couldn't help but sigh at that. She walked towards the kitchen to put some water on the stove to boil after gesturing for him to go sit down on the couch. "Trouble sleeping?"

"Not only that." He mumbled under his breath and went over to the couch, but didn't sit down. Nervousness, probably.

"I can give you some really good herbal tea. It should help you with that." The empath offered as she returned back from the kitchen. Her piercing blue eyes observed the man in her living room, trying to place his reasons for being here. She also made a mental note to check his physical state to see if any traces of the magic were still left in his body.

"Uh… Thanks." He blinked at her in mild surprise, but despite not being too keen on drinking tea, he felt it to be too rude to decline her offer, so he ended up just nodding with a shrug, to which she nodded back and disappeared into the kitchen again.

She was so calm and kind it was almost unnerving. Because he was here fidgeting and paying too much attention to his breathing, and praying to whatever god there was for his heart to stop beating so fast, otherwise she might think he was having a heart attack. And well, she probably wouldn't be that far off from the truth.

Emerging from the kitchen once more some moments later, Raven was carrying two cups of hot tea, which she then placed on the coffee table before taking a seat.

"Your emotions are going all over the place, Richard." She spoke softly and slid one of the cups closer to him. "Sit down and relax." His heart skipped a beat at that and he still hesitated a little before he sat down next to her.

"Sorry." He muttered and took a sip. It was hot and didn't have the most pleasant of tastes, but he was grateful he had something else to focus on right now. And the tea, as untasty as it was, did have a calming effect on him. As always, she knew exactly what he needed. He just wished he could read _her_ just as well.

"No need for apologies. You've gone through quite a turmoil of emotions." Raven took a cup of her own and blew some cold breath on it before taking a sip. How could she be so calm about all this? How was she _ever_ this calm?

But she knew that Dick hadn't come here just for tea. And she was waiting for an elaboration in silence. Her blue eyes staring right through him indicated that quite well. There was always something so mesmerizing about her look. Impossible to look directly back at her, but not quite possible to look away either. It was almost… hypnotizing.

"A-ah… Yeah. Guess you could say that." He stumbled on his words a little as he nodded, letting out a small chuckle before his features grew serious again. "But I guess you could say I've been in that turmoil for quite a few years now."

At that, Raven couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in obvious surprise. Was he really? Was it possible that she hadn't picked up on anything for such a long time? Well, he _was_ a hard person to see through, but she was sure that she would have gathered _something_ from all these years of knowing him and working alongside him. Of course, the past few years of them living out their separate lives might have weakened her ability to pick up his emotions, but even then… It seemed highly unlikely to her.

"Richard, I think I may have to assess you once more-"

"I know you don't want to believe me." He quickly interrupted, but in a gentle manner. "I know you want to believe that this is all doing of magic. Your magic. Someone else's magic. But- Have you ever stopped and thought that maybe… Maybe it's not the magic? Any magic at all?"

"Well, but that's not-"

"Possible?" Interrupted again. It was obvious that Dick was growing more and more anxious by the second and just wanted to get everything out that's been on his chest for oh so long.

"Raven," he chuckled as he turned to face her, his hands barely refraining from reaching out to her, "do _I_ really have to be the one to remind you of all the impossible things in this world that you and I both have witnessed in our lives? There's no such thing as impossible. You should know that better than anyone. Besides. It's love. It doesn't-"

"Yes, but back then. It was induced by me. The spark was all mine." She tried to reason, but with each word that left her lips she became less certain of her own explanations.

"But was it a fake one?"

"What?"

"Was that spark not real?" He rephrased the question for her. "I mean, there _had_ to have been some kind of reason why it was me."

"Well, I just-" Raven frowned ever so lightly and looked down into her cup. "It was the first time I could ever freely feel every emotion that had ever been forbidden to me. And I- I loved it. I loved to feel it all and express it. I loved to _love_."

"Yes, but why was it _me_ , Raven?" He pressed the question further again and leaned just a little closer to the young woman.

This sudden questioning and his closeness made her feel uneasy. These were the questions that had never been asked and never answered, not even by her. Because she had always been so scared to admit it even to herself. That it was more than just a coincidence of circumstances.

Dick was waiting patiently for her to answer. It was such a sensitive topic for her, the last thing he wanted was to put any more pressure on her than he already did and possibly lose his chances of getting any answers at all. But she could feel his anticipation, his anxiousness, his hope… There was no way she could give him an evasive response, like she usually would, and feel good about it afterwards. It had been _so many_ years already. Maybe it was finally time to talk about these things to put both of their minds and hearts at ease for once.

"It was you because-..." Raven bit her lower lip and clenched onto her cup just a little tighter, trying to put her thoughts into words. "Because I loved you."

Hearing these words, his heart stopped for a moment. Sure, he wanted her to answer honestly and straightforwardly. But for some reason he hadn't expected _this_ bold of a response. His breathing had even stopped before he realized that he should probably take a breath. Letting out a sigh, he sat up straight and gestured with his hands like they would help him to come up with a coherent sentence. However, she continued before he had the chance to open his mouth.

"It was then that I realized I had loved you for a long time." Her head moved up, eyes focusing on nothing in particular as she reminisced. "My relationship with Wallace had always been complicated. I deeply cared about him, but it was my conscious decision to do so, to manipulate his feelings. So, naturally, eventually his feelings for me overwhelmed me as well. And I dared to call it love." She chuckled softly, but with a hint of sadness.

"But with you it was different." Raven then finally turned her eyes to him. "It all felt so natural. The way you understood me and respected me, how you were always there for me when I needed someone, how you supported me and didn't give up on me no matter what. Over time it developed into a feeling I had never experienced before and never _could_ experience, so when I was finally able to break free from my father's influence, I was overflowing with love. I couldn't control it. And so, unknowingly to myself, I convinced you that we were both in love with each other. Even though the love I felt coming from you at the time was _clearly_ your love for Kori."

Her lips curled into a sad smile and she averted her gaze from the man next to her once again, falling deep into thought.

"But it sparked my love for _you_."

"It was a _fake_ spark for you, Richard." She quickly snapped back at him. "Fake. That's why I had to lock it away after realizing what I had done."

"You did _what_?" Now Dick was truly shocked. And slightly even frustrated with this bit of information. And his high pitched voice at the end of that sentence was a clear indication of that. Raven felt that and it made her frown, immediately regretting having said that. But it had to be done. It was the right thing to do. He deserved to know the whole truth.

Releasing a shaky sigh, the empath put her cup on the coffee table, fidgeting in her seat for a moment before standing up. Somehow it had gotten hard to even sit calmly. This surge of emotion emitting from him was becoming a bit too much for her to handle with ease. And at this particular moment she found it easier to look out the window into the busy street than facing him.

"All emotion manipulated by me stays with the person for a while, duration varying depending on how strong the emotion was. And seeing that love is one of the most powerful emotions, for you to go back into your normal state without causing rifts in your relationship with Kori, I compressed the feelings I made you feel, so to speak, and pushed them far away in your subconscious so that they would fade away in their own time without you noticing any difference."

"But they didn't."

"What?" Her eyes widened in surprise and she looked over her shoulder back at him.

"The feelings didn't fade away, Raven." Dick got off the couch as well now and approached her by the window. "They've been here with me all these years. My love for you has always been there." And suddenly it all started making sense to him as the realization struck him.

"And you locking it away and distancing yourself from me just made it stronger, eager to be let free, _screaming_ at me in the dead of night. _That's_ why I could never fully let you go, but also not able to act on it. _That's_ why I let you go. I convinced myself that if you were happy, I was happy. That I could never have you. But it was because the love was always there! It didn't leave me."

But the more excited he got, the more terrified she became. How was this possible? Those feelings should have been long gone. Faded. Forgotten. Non-existent. They shouldn't have lingered for such a long time. How could this be? Why didn't it go away? Was it because of her? With each passing moment her already pale face lost its color more and more, her heart pounding in her chest and breath becoming irregular. She was sinking into a pool of sudden despair, fear and regret before she felt his hands catching her by her arms.

"Raven?" Dick's soothing voice snapped her out of it and she looked into his worried blue eyes.

"I did this to you." She breathed out in frightening realization. "I made you lovelorn for all these years. I made you crave for a love that wasn't supposed to be there in the first place. I-"

"Raven, no. Don't say that." His hands softly slid down her arms and held her hands into his own, pressing them against his chest. "I loved you because… well… I loved you. It's always been there and it still is. Can't you feel the love that I feel for you?"

"Yes, but-" Her eyes jolted back and forth as she stared at him, like she was trying to find something in there. "It's my- It's been all created by me. And the other night… It must have set it all free once more."

"Is it really that hard for you to believe that it's there because of my own true feelings?" He smiled gently at her, almost making it seem that it was amusing to him.

"How can I believe that, Richard? When I've _tortured_ you for all these years?"

"Well- Love _is_ torture in a way, isn't it?" The light chuckle escaping his lips now clearly showed that he was indeed getting amused, which earned a scowl from the raven-haired girl.

"Look. Raven-" He sighed, but before he could continue, she interrupted in sudden realization.

"I need to get you back to your right state of mind. And heart."

"What? No. No, no, no, no. Don't." His hands quickly clenched tighter around hers before she tried to do anything, his eyes desperately trying to lock in with her own. "Don't do anything."

"But-"

"You said it yourself, your created emotions fade away with time, correct?"

"Yes, but-"

"So if you and I were to not be in contact with each other for a while, you wouldn't be able to alter my feelings in any way, consciously _or_ subconsciously, right?"

"Me being away from the person I had influenced would imply that, yes."

"So let me prove it to you. Let me prove it that what I feel right here," he put his hand on his chest and tapped it, "that it's real."

In complete honesty, Raven was so baffled by this that she didn't even know what to say to him anymore. He was suddenly overflowing with such confidence and excitement, it was hard not to trust that what he believed in was really true.

"Give me a time frame." He then requested.

"A time frame?"

"Yes. You said that love is one of the most powerful emotions out there. So how long would it take for your supposed influence to fade if we went and lived out our lives completely separately, not meeting, not talking, not even texting each other?"

"I-... Richard-" Somehow she was at a complete loss for words. "It could take _years_."

"I don't care. Just give me a number. Two? Three? Ten?" Dick looked down at her with incredible determination and growing impatience, she could hardly pick up all the emotions that were going through his body right now. All she could do was stare at him with an expression full of surprise and admiration.

Well, he wanted a number. She sighed softly and glanced over to the calendar on her wall, thinking for a moment. The feelings that he felt indeed were very strong. And if they hadn't completely faded away for all these years, they wouldn't fade away fast now, even when not compressed in the back of his subconscious. A few years at least…

"Five." Raven then finally spoke and slowly turned her head back to him. And even with this answer, his confidence and determination didn't falter even for a second.

"Five years then." He nodded and walked over to the calendar, pointing at today's date. "Mark this date, Raven. In five years, on this day, I'll come back and ask you out on a date."

"Well, you sound awfully certain." She couldn't help but chuckle.

"I am." His lips curled into a smile and he slowly walked back to her again. "Because I love you. And I will keep loving you. Even after five years. And even after that. And I'll make sure I can be the man you can fall in love with again."

Maybe it was his strong multiple emotions that got the better of her. Maybe it was her own emotions mixing into this turmoil. But all of this that was happening right now made her feel… _a lot_. It gave her _hope_ that this was indeed more than just her own abilities screwing around with people. She was _charmed_ by the fact that he was willing to go to any length to prove this to her. It made her feel _loved_ and made her remember why she fell in love with him in the first place. He was releasing all of his feelings out to her and she didn't want to keep hers in either. So she took in a breath and gave him a gentle smile, her voice rising barely above a whisper as she spoke.

"Who said I ever stopped?"

And with that she could literally see him jump up in joy as he walked up to her with the biggest smile on his face and pulled her into his warm embrace.

"Good. Then don't stop now either." He mumbled softly as he rested his cheek on her head. Pulling back, he looked down into her eyes and cupped her face into his hands. "Five years, Raven. I'll definitely come back."

"We'll see about that." She couldn't help but to tease a little, a smirk tugging from the corner of her lips.

"You can bet on it." He chuckled and pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead before he released her from his grip and took a step back to take one last good look at her. In five years he could hold her and kiss her for as long as he wanted. But for now, it was best if he left. The sooner the countdown started, the sooner he could come back to her.

"Five years!" Dick repeated once again with much more enthusiasm as he made his way to the door, turning around one more time when he opened it to point at her. "Just you wait!"

"I will." Raven chuckled and watched him close the door behind him. And so he was gone in an instant, but everything about him still lingered in the room. The apartment turned empty and quiet just like it always was and yet it was filled with the mere sense of his presence.

And for the first time in very long, it didn't feel so lonely.


	5. Chapter 5

_Just you wait! I'll come back in five years and ask you on a date!_

The events of that evening replayed in her head over and over again. The room was quiet besides the clock ticking on the wall and the gentle tapping of the pencil against her notebook, deep in thought as she was looking outside the window.

She didn't even need to look at the calendar to know what day it was today. No, this date had been etched in her mind for _years_ now. There was no way she would forget it. And with every year she grew increasingly more nervous about today. No matter how much she tried to just go about her day, she just couldn't. However, a knock on the door interrupted her silent pondering.

"Miss Roth?" A nurse's head peeked inside the office. "Your next patient is here."

"Oh. Of course." Raven snapped out of her thoughts and cleared her throat. "Send him in."

Work. The only thing that kept her _sane_ at this point. A part of her was almost happy she worked late hours, oftentimes staying well after her workday at the office, doing all the paperwork and sometimes even visiting her patients at home when they weren't able to make it to the clinic.

And today was no different. One patient after the other and that's how her day went by. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing new or exciting happened. Which was almost… worrisome? Disappointing? She couldn't quite pinpoint the feeling. All she knew was that this wasn't supposed to be an ordinary day. Or… Was it?

After all, it had never been guaranteed that he'd come back. Her very rational mind knew that. He didn't _have_ to come back if there was nothing left. And it was fine. It was _fine_. Raven had promised herself that no matter how this day would go, she'd continue with her life. That she wouldn't beat herself over it. And yet, now that it was here and it was nearing 8 pm on the clock, she couldn't help it.

Her heart was beating and hands were shaking, it was impossible to do any more work in this condition, so she decided it was about time to go home. Clearing up her desk, she grabbed her coat, turned off the lights and locked the office and then the clinic behind her. With another breath, she started her way back to her apartment just a few blocks away.

After walking for a while, she caught herself looking around franctically; both at building rooftops and people behind her, cars driving by. Everything felt _suspicious_.

 _No. Stop that. You're going insane._

Scolding herself mentally and shaking her head, she kept walking. By Azar was this nerve-wracking. What if he didn't show up? What if he _did_ show up? How would she react? What would he say? How would they live their life further? There were _so_ many questions running through her head that she barely paid any attention to her surroundings.

People had started walking faster. Some were running in the opposite direction of where she was going. And she didn't quite catch it until a wave of panic rushed through her. No one was screaming in distress or yelling at one another, it was just a general tension in the air that was so thick she could feel a lump in her chest.

"What's going on?" She asked herself quietly and, driven by instinct, went directly where all the people seemed to be trying to get _away_ from, listening intently for any kind of information. People were leaving a local bar and among the chatters, Raven caught the word _bomb_ and her heart immediately skipped a beat.

"Oh no." She gasped and increased her pace. Pulling the hood of her coat over her head, she went _directly_ into the building that people were still exiting and looked around. _Azar_ , why didn't she possess any bomb detection skills? Where could it even be? First thought was bathrooms. It was too obvious but she couldn't not check it.

Women's bathroom. Empty and clear. Men's bathroom. Empty and clear. Behind the bar? Empty. She used her telekinetic abilities to lift all the tables and chairs up as she rushed across the room. Clear. Kitchen. Clear. The storage room- Then she heard it.

 _Beep_.

"It's here!"

 _Beep_.

Lights- Not working. Great.

 _Beep_.

Guided by the beeping sound of the bomb, Raven finally found it.

 _Beep_.

 _00:30 seconds left_.

Shit! What was she supposed to do? Her breath was stuck in her throat, forehead sweating, hands shaking.

 _00:26 seconds left_.

In all of her time as a superhero had she never _ever_ had to defuse a bomb. She had no idea what she was doing.

 _00:22 seconds left_.

There were no wires, no nothing. What kind of bomb was this?!

 _00:18_ _seconds left_.

There was no time. She needed to get it out of here before it exploded, so she carefully picked it up and-? It was _so_ light? It.. It felt like she was holding a plastic toy in her hands-!

 _00:15 seconds left_.

Right. No time. The empath immediately teleported outside of New York, far enough into the ocean that the bomb wouldn't affect anyone.

 _00:13 seconds left_.

With no time to lose, Raven tossed the bomb as far away as she could and teleported back to the shore to make sure it was safe.

 _00:10_

 _00:09_

 _00:08_

 _00:07_

 _00:06_

 _00:05_

 _00:04_

 _00:03_

 _00:02_

 _00:01_

 _…_

 _Silence._

 _What?!_

"It- it didn't go off?" She blinked in utter shock and waited for a few more seconds just in case she'd counted it wrong. But nothing happened. Did it break hitting the water? Judging by how light it was, it wouldn't be a surprise. Then a thought crossed her mind. Was that even a _real_ bomb?

Frowning, Raven teleported back to the same spot she'd thrown the bomb from and looked around.

 _Beep_.

It was still beeping?!

 _Beep._

She frantically looked for it and finally found it floating above the water.

 _Beep_.

Carefully hovering closer to the thing, she noticed that the display didn't show any numbers anymore. Just some.. words flashing?

 _MARRY ME_.

"WHAT?!" Raven exclaimed in a mixture of emotions. She just couldn't hold it in anymore. "What the-"

 _MARRY ME_.

Looking at the display once again, she blinked in sudden realization. "No way…" She grabbed the bomb from the water and teleported back to the bar. And surely enough, she saw a very familiar figure standing in the dimly lit room.

Raven didn't even need to see his face to know that it was _him_. Hiding in the shadows like that. Being all mysterious. But she could feel the confidence and pride emitting from him. So, even though her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, _other_ emotions took over and the surprised look on her face quickly turned to a scowl.

"Do _you_ ," she slammed the fake bomb on a table, "realize you've just committed a _fake bomb threat_?!"

"Hey, I knew exactly what I was doi-"

"What were you _thinking_?!" She was _fuming_ with anger at that point. Eyes darted from side to side, waiting for him to explain himself. But he stood quiet for a moment. He had a _smile_ on his face, she knew it. She _felt_ it. And it wasn't just because he was happy to see her. In truth, he actually found this amusing. _Amusing_! He chuckled. He couldn't help it.

 _Everything_ about his behavior was throwing her off. What had gotten into him? Did he really change this much over the past five years? Granted, it _was_ a long time period. But.. No, she didn't want to believe this.

 _MARRY ME_.

"Raven-" His voice softened and he walked up to her, finally revealing himself from the curtain of shadows, gently grabbing a hold of her hands and bringing them to his lips, "you know I'd never do anything on purpose to put anyone in actual danger."

The soft kiss on her knuckles brought her to reality. She blinked and looked at his hands holding hers. In an instant, it felt like she lost all ability to breathe. Like her heart forgot how to beat in her chest. It was _Dick_. Right here, right now. Holding her hands. Standing so very close to her…

Then it suddenly dawned on her. "You're here." She gasped for air, her eyes widening, looking straight up at him. His blue eyes. His smile. His everything. By _Azar_ , he was here! He did come.

"The whole day was spent in _so much_ anticipation. I needed an element of surprise."

"And _this_ is your idea of a surprise?" She couldn't help but to raise an eyebrow at that.

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" They both grinned, even if Raven shook her head.

 _MARRY ME_.

She didn't even _want_ to admit that he was right. This whole thing had clearly taken her mind off of things. Maybe not in the best way possible, but still. Had he come out of the blue just like that, she was sure she would've gotten a heart attack, that's how tense she felt.

"I'm sorry for scaring you."

"No, you're not." She chuckled and shook her head. "You knew I wouldn't deal with a _bomb_. You knew exactly what you were getting me into." And he didn't say anything. His knowing smile said it all.

"Well? What do you say?" Then, his features turned into more questioning ones. Almost as if he was waiting for her to reply to something. Why was he looking at her like that? Had he asked a question? What could he possibly-

 _MARRY ME_.

A gasp escaped her lips as her eyes shot towards the damn fake bomb still beeping on the table. The realization hit her like a bullet. Her face turned bright red. Her heart started racing in her chest.

"Richard…" Her blue eyes looked back at him. She wasn't sure what to say, how to feel about this. Could it really be _him_ asking this? "Are you _certain_?" She furrowed her brows in concern.

"No, Raven." Dick's hands released hers and held onto her shoulders, while her hands fell down to rest against his chest. "You don't get to do this anymore. It's been _five_ years."

"But-"

"No buts. We made a promise, didn't we?"

"We did…" She nodded slowly. He was absolutely right. And yet… There were so many emotions running through between both of them, she couldn't be sure of anything. And Dick saw that in her face. No. He wasn't about to lose this fight. Not this time.

"Raven, I _love_ you. I haven't _stopped_ loving you." He desperately tried to convince her, his hands finding their way up to cup her face, looking deep into her eyes. "Please. _Believe_ me when I say this. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Marry you. Have children with you. Grow old with you. It's all I've been dreaming about for the last five years. More than that even! Trust my heart. Trust _yours_. You know I'm saying exactly what I'm feeling. Those are _my_ feelings. No influence of any sort. Just the love I feel for you."

She listened to him in complete awe. Her mind just couldn't comprehend what was going on. Was this really for real? She wasn't imagining this, was she? Oh, someone pinch her! He was right. She _knew_ this was all him talking. She could feel it wash over her like a summer breeze. It was so intense, so warm, so overwhelming. There was so much love. His love. Her love. _Their_ love.

"I'm here. And I'm here to stay." Dick gave her one of those warm and charming smiles. "So. What do you say?"

There was a moment of silence between them as she tried to compose her thoughts, to _process_ what just happened. None of it made sense to her right now. But- To hell with it!

"Yes." She suddenly blurted out, looking surprised at her own response. They both looked surprised, as if Dick hadn't expected her to answer so simply.

"Yes?" His smile widened as he reaffirmed it with a chuckle.

"Yes!" She laughed out, eyes filling with tears. Happy tears, for once. And he laughed with her in absolute happiness. He wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace and lifted her in the air as she wrapped her own around his neck.

Putting her back down on the ground, he spent mere moments looking at her beautiful face before locking their lips in a most passionate and _long overdue_ kiss. My god it's been too long! All the things they've been through, everything they'd experienced, all the pain and the hurt, it was all gone now. Because they were finally together. Finally in each other's arms in this loving embrace. It could all fade away now. Nothing could break their bond, not even after all these years. They were here to stay. Together from now on and till the end of their days. Just like it should be.

"I love you, Raven."

"And I love you, Richard."

 **FIN**

* * *

Alright! WHAT A RIDE. This marks the end of this fic, finally! It took me forever to get here, but I hope it was worth the wait.

I absolutely loved writing it and I hope you enjoyed it just as much to read it.

Thank you all for your kind words on this fic and the positive reviews I've gotten over time. You guys are the reason I get motivated enough to write. Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, _thank you_. You rock.


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